Sometimes I write things that don't really sound like me but I don't realise it until I've written quite a bit and then reread it. I just deleted 2 whole sentences that had me sounding like someone from a talk show. I know I do have a tendency to go on a bit but I am definitely not the talk show type (if you think otherwise please keep it to yourself). I absolutely hate talking in front of a group of people so talking in front of a tv audience is not something I ever want to do, ever, ever! Today I needed to talk in front of a group of likeminded people and discovered that even if the people were really nice, I still felt like my head and mouth all of a sudden turned to cotton wool. I usually sit down after speaking and can't recall clearly what I said and feel quite shaky and sweaty, this time was no exception. I have been told that I don't sound anywhere near as bad as I think but I reckon that's just to make me feel better and obviously that doesn't work because I don't believe them anyway!!!
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| scared of public speaking look... |
I'm over the stress of it all now but have an underlying feeling of dread because I've got to do it again next week but in a more structured setting. blah, yuck, bugger, $#%^*! I have often thought of joining one of those public speaking groups like toastmasters but it's always just stayed as a thought and not an action. I can't see me working to overcome this in this lifetime but you never know life often has other plans.
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| goodbye summer... |
I had a bit of a light bulb moment today that I'm still pondering as I type. I always think that I want to make stuff, (which is sometimes true) but in reality I also really love being instrumental in other people making things. I love to talk to people about what they do and I love all the bits and pieces that people use to make things eg. wood, fabric, old interesting things, paper etc, etc. I'm not completely sure but maybe I love that more than I love making things. I'm starting to think that I need to switch off the ideas part in brain and engage the doing part more seriously or else I'll never have started the thing that I really, really, really want to do.(can't at this moment really and truly identify what exactly that is but...)
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| freeze frame! |
If most people had to say one thing they fear its probably public speaking. Good for you for having a crack and yes you probably were not as bad as you thought you were :-)
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